very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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