He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
