Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
