hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We are two peas in an std pod
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
