It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
