I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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