Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
