I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
is that a dick in a sweater?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
