I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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