why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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