Nicole vs. Life
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
