yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
