The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
