Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
