It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
