i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
