Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
