i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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