He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
