You're so nebulous sometimes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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