I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
