Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
