Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize