garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
