mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
