she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
