Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
