I'm so fucking centered right now
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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