This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
