what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
