just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
