What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize