I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
