Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
