Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
