I just pynch a tree in the face
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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