haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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