Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Couch. On fire.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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