its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
