Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
