well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In other news, I just burned my penis
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
