i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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