the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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