last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
