i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
