the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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