does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
