i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
