very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
