That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
