my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dignity is for republicans.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
