I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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