heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
