My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
