my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There r osticjed everywhere
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize