I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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