what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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