Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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