i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
