I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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