He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
