omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
