you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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