She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
